I can hardly believe it’s been two years since the most beautiful miracle entered my world. It was a day that was long awaited with both excitement and nervousness.
We arrived excited but in total honesty we walked that bright long hall to the delivery room carrying some fear. But we believed and proclaimed that we would come back down that hall with a beautiful life in our arms.
The labor was long and hard! Almost 20 hours. All along I was so excited to meet him but I was so scared to take him from my womb because I knew he was safe there.
His daddy and his grandma stayed with me through the whole thing and coached me on. And while I could see excitement on their faces, I could also see the same fear on them that was on me.
But when he arrived and his daddy got the first look at him, I will never ever forget the look on his face. Such relief, joy, passion, peace and love all in one expression. It’s a moment I will never forget. It’s the moment I loved him even more than I ever thought I could. I watched him become a daddy with such pride and love.
They prepared us for the worst but we clung to the best. We believed for life, breath, peace, joy and miracles. And at 3:06 am, I saw the perfect face of a warrior, my warrior boy.
They said his body would be to fragile for him to breathe on his own and said we wouldn’t hear a cry. But when they held him up for me to see him, he let out the most incredible warrior cry. My miracle was breathing on his own. He was alive! He was everything and more that I dreamed he would be. He was the most beautiful sight to behold.
They said he would go straight to the NICU that they had me tour and said I wouldn’t get to hold him right away.
After he was born and I got my first look at him, they rushed him to the surgical room connected to my delivery room. I watched doctors, nurses and students crowd the room and I could hear his perfect cry. I was devastated and aching at the fact that I couldn’t hold him. I needed to hold him. A few minutes passed and I saw him in a nurses arms headed towards me. And my aching was gone because they placed him on my chest and my whole world pieced back together. The fear that tried to cling to me for 9 months was gone. The words of death that were spoken over him by the enemy were lies. HE DEFIED THE ODDS. The first breathe that left his body was a miracle. He came into this world with a warrior cry and from his first breathe, his LIFE was a testimony of the goodness of God.
His first breathe fulfilled all the promises the Lord had given to us.
In these past two years we have had moment of pain, confusion and testing. Jude has has multiple surgeries and many hospitalizations. We have painfully placed him into the arms of strangers (surgeons) and sat long hours that felt like eternity trying to catch our breath until he came out. We have spent many nights on hospital benches and even nights crawling into his hospital crib with him. We have spent countless hours at therapies and doctors appointments. We have traveled many long miles to get him the best medical care. And we feel as through we have become therapists and nurses ourselves with his medical care.
I’ve received several messages asking why I brought him here to suffer. How could I choose this life for him.
Jude is the most joyful person I know. He has all the reason in the world to live unhappy and yet he has a smile and sweet giggle to share with anyone and everyone.
Jude loves life. He has pain at times but he never lets it bring him down long. Jude is a
strong fighter and he is defeated obstacles they thought he never would all the time.
This has been two years of miracle after miracle, two years of promises fulfilled, two years of victories, two years of unspeakable joy and two years of unmeasurable love.
My sweet Jude,
From the moment I knew you were coming, I loved you. And when I heard your heart beating, mine nearly beat out of my chest. From the moment I got my first look at you on that little screen, I thought every inch of you was perfect. And then when I got to see you and wrap you in my arms, I knew I was holding a perfectly created masterpiece. Your sweet brown eyes take my breath away every single day. Your little expressive eyebrows tell me how much you love me with every little raise and that huge smile on your face. And every single breath you take, I am proud of your strength. Your heart is filled with so much joy and love and everyone who meets you falls in love with you! To know you is to love you. You are certainly God’s most perfect masterpiece, my love. I am the luckiest person in all the world because I get to be your mama. I promise to always love you with all that I am. I promise to protect you and keep you safe. I promise to lift your precious life in prayer and believe for continued miracles. I promise to be your #1 fan and cheer you on with every single milestone. I promise to never give up fighting for you and with you. I promise to always be by your side. I love you forever and ever and ever, my brave warrior boy ❤️