Loves to be loved

I knew almost my whole nine months of pregnancy that Jude had a form of dwarfism. I had times when I feared he wouldn’t live but mostly I had faith that he would.

I knew jude would have dwarfism but there are things I didn’t know. When I pictured him I thought maybe he would just be small, fully functioning but just small. I had no problem with that, I never grieved Jude’s height.

What I didn’t know is that Jude wouldn’t be able to do normal day to day things.
I didn’t know he wouldn’t move his arms, hold up his head, sit up, stand up, crawl, learn his first words by now, eat and the list goes on.

This has been weighing on me lately with Christmas just around the corner. I have spent endless nights researching and trying to find toys that a child who can’t move his arms or sit up would enjoy. I have feared Christmas day because I know Jude won’t be able to open his presents and his daddy and I will have to do it for him. I have grieved that he won’t play with his toys.

There are so many things I grieve over that he can’t do. This has been a challenging and painful thing to face.

Today I scooped him up and sat in my rocker with him. I know he can’t understand me but I just started telling him how sorry I was that he can’t do all of these things. I prayed for him and I cried with him.

The whole time I sat there crying, Jude continued to give me the most joyous smiles and then I realized, regardless of these things Jude can’t do he is so happy. He knows he is loved and that brings him joy.

Even though Jude can’t open his presents and play with his toys this Christmas, Jude will be with his family whom he adores. Yes, I plan on wrapping him presents and giving him toys. But most of all, on Christmas Day I plan on scooping him up and showing him all the love that I physically can, because that’s what makes him truly happy and brings him such pure joy. He truly just loves to be loved.

This Christmas I am thankful for his life and I am thankful to be able to show him how incredibly loved he is.

And now for a photo overload……

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14 thoughts on “Loves to be loved

  1. You. Are. Amazing. I follow your story on Facebook and I am in awe of your grace, your faith, your willingness to share your story. You grieve those things that you need, but never lose sight of what an amazing gift you’ve been given. You share your testimony with thousands and we are each touched. Christmas blessings to you all! Lots of love from Kansas City!

  2. Hannah! That’s a great beginning or “Forward” for your book about Jude! Well Done! He’s a special boy and we all love him!

    Warm Regards,
    Shelley 💜

  3. Jude’s life is a miracle. Your faith has touched me in so many ways. I follow your journey and am continual prayer. I share Jude and his story with my friends around the world and they pray. Be encouraged mama. God has given you such a precious gift in Jude. I rejoice with you in his life.

  4. Thank-you for sharing this beautiful child with me. This little boy has brought me so much joy this year. I can’t wait to see his pictures and updates. I’ve shared his story with friends and we are all praying for sweet Jude. Keep your faith in God because we know through him all things are possible!

  5. Oh I just love the photographs! You have such a strong and loving family Hannah! I admire you! You are woman of such strength , a steadfast and faithful servant. I know there are times when you just break down, feel as if the weight is too heavy, but God’s got this. He’s been holding your hand and lifting your eyes to see the Glory of the Lord! Jude will have a wonderful Christmas, because he will be treated with as much kindess, and showered with so much love, he won’t be able to tell Christmas day from any other! He’s perfect, and Thank you for sharing God’s little blessing with us. Hugs, Prayers, & Warm Wishes this Christmas to you and yours!

  6. Jude knows how much you love him! He was born into the perfect family, full of love and support. I know you don’t share all of the difficulties and challenges, but you do share his smiles and love. I can’t imagine as a momma, knowing what he can’t do right now, but only God knows his full potential. Jude is already reaching prople around the world, giving us all a new perspective of life. Thank you for sharing him with us!

  7. I love Jude’s pictures filling my newsfeed! I can’t help but smile when I see him and all of his silly faces! I admire you and your attitude. You were hand picked to raise such an incredible little guy! You can see the love he has and he clearly knows he might be the most loved boy around!

  8. I am brought to tears almost every time I read a post you’ve written.Jude is a beautiful baby, and while this really has nothing to do with the post, I love his glasses, they look like minion goggles.

  9. Hi Hannah,
    I hope I am not being too intrusive, but I am interested in the 9 surgeries that Jude has had. I understand the arm and leg splints and also the helmet. I see he has a scar on his little chest and a button as well. Is he a rhizo baby?

    Shelley

  10. Making a decision to terminate a much wanted pregnancy is heartbreaking. Nobody takes that decision lightly. You don’t hear the news that your baby has a terminal disorder that will also cause him extreme pain during his short life (if he survives birth at all), and shrug and think “no probs, I’ll have an abortion.” It’s wrenching and horrible, but in the end, parents make the decisions that they believe best support and protect their children. Your circumstances with Jude allowed for you to make the decision to keep him. Jude is a beautiful boy and he is lucky to have you. But instead of taking your experience to reinforce your stance regarding abortion, maybe develop some empathy. Because that’s what people who have gone through this deserve.

    • I will always stand on the side of LIFE. I believe that life and death are in the hands of God and all life is precious, however difficult that life may be. I don’t feel its our right to take innocent life. Abortion is never a solution. I trusted God and gave Jude life and it’s the best decision I have ever made. He is filled with joy and has touched so many lives.

  11. Dear Hannah,
    I have just gotten to know little Jude the past few weeks through a friend of mine on FB. Today, I “liked” your page and got to read your stories of your precious Jude. You and your husband look so young yet you have the most amazing faith. Stories like your’s and Jude’s definitely makes me think twice before complaining about anything! Thank you so much for sharing your story of your precious little angel who yes, it perfect in EVERY way! I will pray for Jude daily:)

  12. Pingback: Loves to be loved | daydreamingaboutsleep

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