Received a call today that took me by surprise. I got news that I did not want to hear. My son, Jude had a sleep study recently and the results we got back from that are not what we were praying for.
Jude has central Apnea. We have known for awhile now that he has cervical stenosis but didn’t realize exactly what it was causing until
today. His Stenosis in his C-spine is what they believe is causing the apnea.
Central sleep apnea occurs because your brain doesn’t send proper signals to the muscles that control your breathing. This condition is different from obstructive sleep apnea, in which you can’t breathe normally because of upper airway obstruction. Central sleep apnea is less common than obstructive sleep apnea.
Jude’s stenosis it making it to where the messages in his body aren’t flowing properly.
I can honestly say that I wasn’t expecting these results. I prayed a lot and I truly believed and had faith they everything would come back clean.
They are pretty sure that now Jude will need a spinal decompression surgery, which they weren’t thinking was needed before his sleep study. Google a spinal decompression surgery and you will understand why this is something I do not want my 5 month old baby to go thorough.
They also had some cardiac concerns, as they saw that Jude’s heart often skips beats so they are sending us back to cardiology for an EKG. And they said Jude has severe reflux and needs a GI surgery. There are two options for the GI surgery and it’s a very hard decision to make, so we need prayers for wisdom.
So now I have to just wonder why. Why does he have to go through all of this? And why can’t he ever catch a break? It seems there is always something new that has to be done. I am not sure if I will ever understand why.
I would be lying to say that i haven’t had to fight off anger and bitterness, because I certainly have. But I am deciding not to harbor anger in my heart.
I know we serve a big God and all things are possible for him. Now I must place my trust in him. Not in what I have seen him do or have heard he has done. I must place my trust in him alone for who he is.
Sure, I have lots of questions that I wish so badly would be answered and I don’t know for sure if I will receive those answers. But without him and without hope and faith I have nothing to lean on.
The team that works with Jude are suppose to be calling me back shortly. They are going over the sleep study once more and then deciding the definite treatment plans that are needed and when. I still have hope that maybe the answers will be different than they thought.
After I got off that phone call from receiving that news, I got on the bed beside Jude and he started smiling the biggest cheesy smiles at me. It was as if he knew I needed them and he was saying “mom it’s going to be ok”
Jude has the sweetest spirit and nothing he goes through can bring him down. He has been through high waters but he always comes out fighting. I wish everyday that I could be as strong and brave as Jude. I’m thankful for his strength that carries me.
Thank you for all of your prayers for our sweet Jude and please continue to pray for a miracle.